Pro Wrestling

The 10 Worst Wrestling Promos Of All Time Source:

Wrestling promos are hard. Over the years, there have been wrestlers who have had a natural ability to cut some of the best promos ever heard. But at the same time, there have been some pretty spectacular promo failures, even by people who are normally quite good at them. There’s actually a reason why WWE scripts everything that’s said on their shows to an admittedly insane degree, and part of it is because so many things can go wrong when you let somebody improvise what they’re going to say. Maybe they go too far sometimes, but then again, when you hear promos like these, you start to wonder if they don’t have the right idea.

10. The Genesis of Michael McGillicutty

Poor Curtis Axel. His original WWE name was never going to get over, and to make matters worse, his exit promo from Season 2 of NXT (back when it was pretending to be a reality show, as opposed to the developmental promotion it is today) proved that while he may have inherited his father’s wrestling ability, it did not come with an equal measure of aptitude on the microphone. It took a long time before he was put in a position to talk for himself, and even that eventually slid into an imitation of Hulk Hogan after a short while. He’s not as bad as this promo would make you believe, and he definitely found a bit of a niche during his short-lived run as a Social Outcast, cutting intentionally terrible promos and randomly screaming “Yah!”, but he’s definitely still not very good.

9. Roman Reigns Recites ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’

Roman Reigns is not that bad at promos, but he is terrible at WWE’s “long-form” promos that they write for every main event talent because they think all wrestlers should be able to cut the same promos John Cena does every week. Anyway, Roman’s going to be around for a very long time, so I guess we’ll have to live with it. At least they’ve stopped scripting him promos where he re-tells children’s fables to a befuddled audience that isn’t quite sure what the hell they’re watching. This promo was later attributed to Vince McMahon’s direct influence, which will make great evidence when Stephanie and Triple H try to have him committed to an institution so they can run WWE without his meddling.

8. Booker T Is Comin’ For You, Hulk Hogan!

Poor Booker T, you get some live promo time, get a little too far into character, and forget that you’re talking to a national audience and not your friends, and you let slip a word that almost certainly shouldn’t be broadcast on a nationally televised wrestling program. You can tell that he knows he messed up badly, too. That’s why he turns his back to the camera, and why Sherri nearly breaks character in the background. On the bright side, it was at least slightly more appropriate than when Vince McMahon purposefully used the word in reference to John Cena on an episode of Raw.

7. Sid Is Twice The Man That You Are!

Frankly, there are too many terrible Sid promos that we struggled to limit it to just one, meaning we had to leave Sid blowing his line and asking if he can start over during a live broadcast, as Jim Ross helpfully reminds him “We’re live, pal!” on the cutting room floor. Instead, here’s Sid listing the reasons why he’s better than Kevin Nash, and inadvertently burning himself in the process, as Scott Hall busts a gut laughing. How did a man with almost no grasp of the English language and limited wrestling ability end up winning World titles in both WCW and WWE? It’s one of wrestling’s greatest mysteries. Although being really tall and intimidating probably helped.

6. Scott Steiner Math

At a certain point, Scott Steiner must have figured out that nobody in charge was actually paying attention to what he was saying, because they’d given up on trying to figure it out. As a result, as the years went by, Steiner’s promos got crazier and crazier. The crowning moment took place in TNA, as Steiner was attempting to use math to explain exactly why he was going to win a Triple Threat match between himself, Samoa Joe, and Kurt Angle. It is now the default percentage most wrestling fans use whenever a WWE announcer starts spouting off ridiculously incorrect match about a wrestler’s chance of victory in a multi-man match.

5. Lex Luger Hates His Shirt

Man, we don’t even know. It’s not like Lex was ever the greatest talker in the world, but he usually managed to get the point across, plus he looked like he could break you in half, which helped distract you from how bland he was. This is probably also a good example of why some wrestlers should actually have at least some sort of a script ahead of time. First, Luger forgets the name of the show he’s supposed to be promoting, which clearly flusters him, and then he can’t figure out how to take a t-shirt off, and he blames the shirt for being too tight. Hey, buddy, you put it on in the first place, it’s kind of your fault.

4. Nikki Bella Wishes Brie Had Died In The Womb

Hey, remember that time when the Bella Twins hated each other and were given a whole bunch of TV time to work out their issues while everyone who watched prayed for death? This is from that time! Also, try not to think about how, after months of promos just as bad as this, even dragging Jerry Springer into the mix to make it really trashy, Brie forgave Nikki for getting her fired and forcing her to be a servant for a month, and they went back to being the Team Bella we know and absolutely despise. On the bright side, at least Nikki turned into a half-decent wrestler, even if she still can’t cut a promo to save her life.

3. Hulk Hogan Was The Right Gay, In The Right Place, At The Wrong Time, Or Something

We’re not going to say Hogan promos are easy, but let’s face it, you string a few sentences together, point menacingly at your opponent, and say “brother” a half dozen times, and you’re out. He’s done it a million times, usually flawlessly. Except this one time, where he and Vince McMahon were fighting over who was really responsible for the success of WWE and WrestleMania, because wrestling fans truly cared about the politics behind professional wrestling. In this promo, the usually unflappable Hogan flubs his line, then tries to save it (because it’s a taped Smackdown and one assumes he figured they could fix it in editing) and messes up in a completely different, potentially more hilarious, way. Why they didn’t just let him try a third time and fix it afterwards, we’re still not quite sure.

2. Owen Hart Kicked Your Leg Out Of Your…Leg

Ah, Owen Hart. This was his big break, moments after turning on his brother for good, splitting the Hart Family in a bitter feud that would last for years, and he was asked to cut a promo to justify his actions immediately afterwards. It’s a great promo, full of fire and drama and blatant self-interest, and then…he messes up the big finish. You can even watch him realize, as it’s happening, that he has no idea how to finish the sentence he just started. Fortunately, the angle was hot enough that it almost didn’t matter, but it still gets chuckles to this day.

1. Jumpin’ Jeff Farmer

In case you ever wondered why not just anyone can be a big star in professional wrestling, here’s your best example. There are so many things wrong with this promo, which barely takes a minute, that we can barely figure out a place to start. We’d probably go with, great wrestling promos rarely start with “Yep”, just off the top of our heads. Hilariously, Jeff Farmer would go on to have a pivotal role in the biggest angle in WCW history, playing the role of “nWo Sting.” We’re pretty sure they didn’t let him talk.

Stephen Randle

Stephen Randle

Stephen Randle is an avid wrestling and film fan. He's been writing about WWE, movies, and video games for Goliath since 2015.